I never know if I’m going to be able to sleep any given night. My head is six inches from the window. I live, with my husband, above a laundry. Other businesses on our street are: a dry cleaners, a small bodega, a clothing shop that does not have a name but is for “poor people” according to the owner and a storefront Chuck E. Cheese inspired party place that promises to throw your child any kind of party, including pajama parties. There is also a bar. We’ve never been to this bar for a variety of reasons. The two that come to mind are the time my husband saw a man put his fist through the passenger side window of a car with two people in it. He then walked around to the driver side and smashed that window with his fist as well. Another time, a man stormed into the bar screaming at his wife for drinking in the afternoon while her kid was waiting in the car. Clearly it’s a place where all of your hopes and dreams come to die- so we’ve decided to keep our distance. Last night, I fell asleep despite a man screaming as loud as he possibly could, “YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!” – over and over again. He finally walked out of earshot. So, I slipped into a peaceful slumber. That is, until I was rattled awake at 2:30AM as a woman, with a British accent, shouted “MOVE OUT! MOVE OUT! I HAVE TO SHAME YOU TO COME HOME TO SEE YOUR KIDS! MOVE OUT!” I could barely hear her boyfriend’s mumbled response. She was a beast. I was hearing that moment every woman has, the “A-ha” moment Oprah likes to talk about. This British lady had had enough and she was marching her shit bag of a boyfriend out of her home and away from her neighborhood. Before she woke me up, I was having a dream about combining PDF files into one document, so I was happy to move on from that. But, I couldn’t fall back asleep. I kept replaying the woman’s words in my mind over and over again. I felt sorry for her. It was like the Nanny 911 lady woke up and was like, “Why the fuck am I living in a shitty neighborhood in New York with a shitty, drunk boyfriend and terrified kids?” I wonder what happened to them. To her. I hope I can sleep tonight.