My best friend has a four year old daughter. The three of us recently had coffee and bagels together. Her daughter and I are very close, and we had a lot to catch up on. She was telling me all about all about her tumbling class when she mentioned, “the boy she was going to marry”. Our conversation following that sentence went something like this: “Did you just say, ‘The boy you’re going to marry’?” I said this kind of quietly. I figured she had just let it slip, and I didn’t want to embarrass her. Because, I mean, you should never tell somebody about the person you have a crush on, right? They could find out! That would be terrible. “Uh-huh. I love him.” “Well…um…did you tell him that you like him?” I was sure she hadn’t, because every girl knows that you should NEVER tell a boy that you like him…right? I don’t even look at a guy if I have a crush on him. But she is only four so… “Uh-huh.” “What did you say?” Uh oh. This was worse than I thought. “I told him that I loved him.” “What did he say?” Oh dear God. Didn’t her mother teach her anything?! Telling a boy that you love him will completely ruin everything. “He said, ‘I know. I love you too.’ Will you color this with me, Daiva?” I just stared at her, stunned. As adults we make everything so complicated and vague. We don’t call someone when we so desperately want to. We text things we’re too scared to say. We try to keep our feelings hidden, not wanting to be the first one to show them…like it’s some terrible contest. If only it could be as simple as walking up to the guy you like in tumbling class and saying, “I love you.” And have him say… “I know. I love you too.” I wish I was as mature as a four year old.
Love always,
Daiva
